There's been some damage to my chi
That's what the Master said to me
He wore a stoneground turtleneck and sandles made of rice
He was immeasurably old and insufferably nice
He said my chakras are a junkyard full of undiscarded rage
Then he mumbled something sankrit
and he waved around some sage
There's just one thing
to save my ass: Yoga class
He sent me down to a tiny shop in Hinditown
I bought the forty dollar mat, I passed on the robe
They handed me a crumpled list of ashrams and healthclubs
Where I could learn the ancient ways
And get that gnarly chi replaced. Yeah! Yeah!
I seek the ancient Eastern wisdom
I seek the quiet of the mind
I know my present lifestyle is dumb
Time to get up on the path
Time to kick some yoga ass Yeah! Yeah!
An airy loft above the street
is where these yoga people meet
Music softly twinkles, a gentle serenade
I find a spot beside a guy I think I beat up in fifth grade
The teacher prances in, a perky blond named Julie
She looks like vanna white but smells like b.o. and patchouli
She's the one! To get it done! Yoga class
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