Ira Marlowe - Fern​-​Bar Blues (comedy)

from by Various Artists

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

about

Born of the anguish playing cover songs in strip-mall lounges, Have you been there?

lyrics

FERN-BAR BLUES

I used to laugh, I used to chuckle
About the guy in the bar with the folk guitar
And the beer hanging over his buckle
Paid to croon those wimpy tunes
I said “I know my luck’ll never run that low.”
But what did I know?
Because I gotta eat
I gotta eat a little crow

I’ve been a waiter, I’ve been a temp
I’ve had the horror of holding as many jobs
As Larry, Moe, and Shemp
But life could not prepare me
For the roll I now must fill
As a desperado on the dock of the bay
In Margeritaville

Oh, Lord
Lord can’t you see I’ve paid my dues?
I’ve got the mellow-rock-folkie-
in-the-corner-of-a-fern-bar-blues

I’m getting’ heckled, this group of fellas
Pushed to the brink by those very large drinks
With those very small umbrellas
They’re well beyond reason, I must appease them
The tension is growing deadly
Can I reach in my soul and summon the strength
To play a Don Ho medley?

chorus

There’s a lady at the bar, she’s a scary kind of creature
She’s got hairs on every mole
and she’s got moles on every feature
A gargoyle on a barstool, leering into my eyes
Licking off her lipstick and slugging down mai-tais

There’s a two-ton drunken sailor
And my life is now imperilled
‘Cause I blew the last line of the 17th verse
of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”
There’s a real estate man with a tanning-booth tan
Demanding to hear “Piano Man”
And the bag at the bar just sent me a beer
And I think that it’s time to get out of here
Oh, Lord
Lord can’t you see I’ve paid my dues?
I’ve got the mellow-rock-folkie-
abandoning-hope-at-the-end-of-his-rope-
in-the-corner-of-a-fern-bar-blues

credits

from Save the Monkey House!, released February 22, 2013

tags

license

about

Save the Monkey Berkeley, California

contact / help

Contact Save the Monkey

Streaming and
Download help