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Save the Monkey House!

by Various Artists

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1.
You pace the world in circles Looking for a heart that’s really true You down a couple strong ones And now anyone would do Hanging around at the Café Du Nord With those people all so professionally bored It’s scary. Ordinary. Arielle, you’re so much better than your puny poser friends Arielle, I’d like to see you take the whole damn thing again Arielle, no you’re not falling you’re just scared to death and stalling I can tell I used to hear you playing At that club on Lincoln Way You had a way of singing What my heart refused to say Now all you do is run from the beauty You were born to share Is that enough now? Should I shut up now? Arielle, you’re so much smarter than the stupid things you do Arielle, I wish just one time I could climb inside of you And spend an hour livin’ with the things that you’ve been given Yes, it’s true. What will you do? Hanging around at the Tip Top Room Breathing the smoke and the gloom and doom It’s crazy. Please amaze me. Arielle, you’re gonna find it in a place you always knew Arielle, you’re gonna see yourself and finally know it’s true The you’re gonna rise and pull us all across the skies upon your song. Don’t be long. Don’t be long. Arielle
2.
Brother time won't you slow down? won't you slow down? and give me a minute to get back in it catch my breath I'm still goin' but I could use a little rest Brother time you know you used to be my friend a big blue sky that went on without end a slow-rolling boxcar on a steady uphill climb I could see where I was going I could hop off any time But now everything's changed Now You got yourself an aeroplane and you fly, you fly, you fly Brother time Brother time Brother time Now, I'm not asking for some machine to take me back take me back I'm still strong I'm strong and I'm ready And I'll take on this world if this world'll just hold steady But now everything's changed Now it's not the same you fly, you fly, you fly Brother time won't you slow down won't you slow down and give me a minute give me a minute to catch my breath I'll be fine you go on ahead Brother time Brother time Brother time © 2011, Ira Marlowe/Slow Reveal Music (BMI)
3.
Carry me home to the love that I know Is waiting for me at the end of the sea And I’ve packed my belongings and said my goodbyes The ship in the bottle is ready to ride the waves Johnny Walker Red Is a blue-talking sailor All the words he said You’ll apologize later Drinks from your glass as he climbs up the mast And points to the gathering stars That’s where you learn Which way to turn chorus Jose Cuervo Gold Is a shipwreck survivor Left him with the soul Of a mad taxi driver Run through the light with him Stay out all night with him Crashing the rocks on the waves Ask your bartender What to remember Mickey’s Bigmouth Ale Yeah, we all know what that means Hoist her tattered sail Your ocean is wide and green And served in a barrel, the pride of O’Farrell St. Pouring you out in the foam Finally a friend Finally a home chorus
4.
FERN-BAR BLUES I used to laugh, I used to chuckle About the guy in the bar with the folk guitar And the beer hanging over his buckle Paid to croon those wimpy tunes I said “I know my luck’ll never run that low.” But what did I know? Because I gotta eat I gotta eat a little crow I’ve been a waiter, I’ve been a temp I’ve had the horror of holding as many jobs As Larry, Moe, and Shemp But life could not prepare me For the roll I now must fill As a desperado on the dock of the bay In Margeritaville Oh, Lord Lord can’t you see I’ve paid my dues? I’ve got the mellow-rock-folkie- in-the-corner-of-a-fern-bar-blues I’m getting’ heckled, this group of fellas Pushed to the brink by those very large drinks With those very small umbrellas They’re well beyond reason, I must appease them The tension is growing deadly Can I reach in my soul and summon the strength To play a Don Ho medley? chorus There’s a lady at the bar, she’s a scary kind of creature She’s got hairs on every mole and she’s got moles on every feature A gargoyle on a barstool, leering into my eyes Licking off her lipstick and slugging down mai-tais There’s a two-ton drunken sailor And my life is now imperilled ‘Cause I blew the last line of the 17th verse of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” There’s a real estate man with a tanning-booth tan Demanding to hear “Piano Man” And the bag at the bar just sent me a beer And I think that it’s time to get out of here Oh, Lord Lord can’t you see I’ve paid my dues? I’ve got the mellow-rock-folkie- abandoning-hope-at-the-end-of-his-rope- in-the-corner-of-a-fern-bar-blues
5.
There's been some damage to my chi That's what the Master said to me He wore a stoneground turtleneck and sandles made of rice He was immeasurably old and insufferably nice He said my chakras are a junkyard full of undiscarded rage Then he mumbled something sankrit and he waved around some sage There's just one thing to save my ass: Yoga class He sent me down to a tiny shop in Hinditown I bought the forty dollar mat, I passed on the robe They handed me a crumpled list of ashrams and healthclubs Where I could learn the ancient ways And get that gnarly chi replaced. Yeah! Yeah! I seek the ancient Eastern wisdom I seek the quiet of the mind I know my present lifestyle is dumb Time to get up on the path Time to kick some yoga ass Yeah! Yeah! An airy loft above the street is where these yoga people meet Music softly twinkles, a gentle serenade I find a spot beside a guy I think I beat up in fifth grade The teacher prances in, a perky blond named Julie She looks like vanna white but smells like b.o. and patchouli She's the one! To get it done! Yoga class (more)
6.
7.
In the void and the haze and the six long days When the dark and the light went separate ways Dark and light, noon and night Man and woman, wrong and right And the question came when it all was young Fork in the road on a serpent’s tongue And the question said: do you still want more? Do you want whatever’s behind that door? It’s always modern times Always modern times Every lucky day we fly Our rocket to the other side And don’t let go ‘Cause there isn’t far to go Baby, close your eyes Keep your hands inside Came the rain and came the flood Two by two in a river of mud Two by two in a sea of love Ocean covering all that was And the walls came down The walls came down The waters parted and the men were drowned And the sinners lost, the good ones saved The unbelievers all enslaved It’s always modern times Always modern times Every brand-new day we fly Our rocket to the other side And don’t be scared Can’t you see we’re almost there? Baby, close your eyes Just let it all go by And the crystal cars and the men from Mars If they never did come, well they can’t be far Gonna pack out things for a place we’re told Top of the world where it still gets cold And the water runs down, the water runs down The sea came up where there once were towns And you can’t go back, you don’t look back, You never look back It’s always modern times Always modern times Every precious day we fly Our rocket to the other side And don’t despair Can’t you see we’re almost there? Baby, close don’t you cry Let it all go by It’s always modern times Always modern times Always modern times
8.
Don't go in the cemetery Don't go in the cemetery Don't go in the cemetery after dark Old Mr. Frank, died when he drank a bottle of poison that tasted like honey Allison Tate succumbed when she ate and old tuna sandwich that smelled kind of funny chorus Martin McGriff fell off a cliff you can still hear his terrible scream to this day Anthony Lane was hit by a train we all know the train tracks are no place to play Phineas Fitch was handsome and rich sipping champagne when he dropped from his yacht Solomon Schwartz was covered with warts Said to be harmless, apparently not instrumental Bartleby Harrison died of embarrassment from a pimple that grew on the end of his nose Old Mrs. Hill passed away from a chill if only she'd slept with the window closed Frederick Clive died in 1905 from whooping cough He's still ticked off. There's a terrible town under the ground with spirits and zombies and querulous ghosts during the day, some say it's okay but at night keep away, keep away, keep away No, they're not the most gracious of hosts chorus
9.
Murphy collects his waitresses like coins or stamps or bruises does his best reconnaissance on three hours sleep says you judge a man by the company he chooses says you judge a woman by the hours she keeps Early morning... late night 5:00 at the Satellite Chelsea takes your order like some angel out of nowhere smiles as if she knows you and you just don’t know She wants to be in love if she could find a way to go there Wants to be in bed a couple hours ago chorus And love comes raining down when no one’s looking and no one sees it pouring from the skies And when you step outside the streets are shining Colored light reflects into your eyes And I’m collecting anecdotes I’ll tell ‘em if you let me I’ll say it’s for my novel and it could be true I measure my disasters by the laughs that they could get me chasing off the past again with someone new 5:00 at the Satellite And love comes raining down when no one’s looking and no one sees it pouring from the skies And when you step outside the streets are shining Colored light reflects into your eyes
10.
In the dirty alley Behind Sam Wo’s Launderette He flashed his badge and sat me in his unmarked Coronet But when he heard my crime He only laughed and shook his head Don’t waste my time is all he said Well, I’m no Al Capone, I could not disagree But over there on 6th Street There’s folks have heard of me But he could not contain himself When I described my spree Don’t waste my time is what he said to me Don't waste my time Don't waste my time Don't waste my time Well time is something Not everybody has I tried to pull the big one But the years did quickly pass Now every two-bit gumwad punk Will tell you ain’t no gas In this Cadillac of criminal minds Don’t tell me not to waste your time chorus In a dirty bodyshop 'round 10th and South Van Ness I was the man with the master plan The plan to put that ghost to rest I led a ring of hardened men To a Jackson Street address my time had come, ah yes Now the wheel of fortune Has finally spun 'round here All my years of crime and caper Finaly payin' dear Respect comes hard but in the yard There’s one thing I don’t hear Don't waste my time See, we all got years and years and years chorus
11.
Here I am I got no school today I didn't go 'cause I know what I know and it's more than they do On my own and I can't go home I got some time and what's left of a dime so I'll catch a train at Broad and Erie once I'm down they can't get near me Don't try to find me, 'cause I'm lost in the subway lost in the subway and I'm never comin' home In my mind I hear an angry cry I never do what I know I should do and I still don't know why Closin' in They can't leave bad enough alone Tearing me down til I'm under the ground and I feel the roar and hear the clatter suddenly it doesn't matter Don't try to find me, 'cause I'm lost in the subway lost in the subway and I'm never comin' home Look for the reason, 'cause there's gotta be some way gotta be somewhere these tracks go Gotta keep movin' ridin' the tracks ridin' , ridin' , ridin' that front car never look back, never look back, no, no Look out my window I can see in the dark movin', movin' under the city nobody knows me, nobody knows me But I'm.............. I'm the king of the city king of the city I own the city, I'm the king of the city I am, I am, I am, I am Here I am words in a silent hall hollow the ring the commands of a king in an empty castle but in my game I'm not the only one Up on the street there's an army of fools and they swallow their pride and they follow their rules while they swear that they live in the land of the free I'll be damned if I'm gonna be crammed in a life that's not me Don't try to find me, 'cause I'm lost in the subway lost in the subway and I'm never comin' home Look for the reason, 'cause there's gotta be some way gotta be some way or I'm never comin' home
12.
13.
The President’s Penis is Missing A nation looks on in despair Like Novermber in Dallas We loved the First Phallus Then one day it just wasn’t there The president, calm in a crisis As sightings start trickling in Appears on TV with an impassioned plea “Please call me with details of where you have been!” He couldn’t control his galloping pole As it carried him hither and yon We all said his willy’s his heel of Achilles But even a heel can be missed when he’s gone Hillary claims to know nothing She denies accusations in tears The reliable scoop: she was out of the loop And in fact hasn’t seen it in years Authorities offer descriptions But no one knows quite what to say An anonymous source says it’s not like a horse For one thing, it never says “nay” He couldn’t control his galloping pole It got loose like the cannon it is We all said his willy’s his heel of Achilles But even a heel has a soul that must live! In Washington, Bill’s not alone As someone who won’t pass a chance up Funny they felt they should call it the Beltway Where no one can quite keep his pants up Newt got some booty, out side the duty Marriage is said to command Interns and pages are part of the wages For all the great sages who govern this land But back to the matter at hand… The president’s penis is missing It was seen at the Capitol Mall It spoke incognito, disguised as a Cheetoh “What counts is libido and size should mean nothing at all!”

about

Berkeley's Monkey House Theater first opened in June of 2012 -- a "jewel-box version of the Freight and Salvage" -- offering acoustic music, jazz, comedy, storytelling, magic, original theater and other intimate and thought-provoking performances. Alas, after less than six months of operation we were forced to close due to noise complaints from a neighbor. We're finally completing soundproofing renovations and plan to re-open sometime in March. Buying a song or two (or ten!) at whatever price you like will help us pay the soundproofing bills and get back on our four feet. Thanks for your support. www.monkeyhousetheater.com

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released February 22, 2013

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Save the Monkey Berkeley, California

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